Marvin on the Warpath: Marvin Gaye - “When Did You Stop Loving Me, When Did I Stop Loving You”

Marvin Gaye’s 1978 album: Here, My Dear

This is not the typical Valentine’s day Marvin Gaye song, “Sexual Healing” and “Let’s Get It On” are probably more apt, but the artists on your ‘🌹⛓🖤💋✨’ playlist have feelings too. In Gaye’s case, quite a few of them. Gaye married his boss’s sister, Anna Gordy, at 24 years old, when she was 41. According to Gaye’s biographer, David Ritz, the marriage was volatile from the start. Nonetheless, they remained together for 10 years, even secretly adopting a child, before separating, and then finally divorcing nearly 4 whole years after the initial split. Marvin did not take nearly as long before putting his thoughts on wax. Beginning recording a week later, Gaye did not intend to make any hits, because as a result of the divorce proceedings, Gordy would take half of Marvin’s share of royalties for the forthcoming album, which also might explain the horrible cover art. Appealing to the mass market, it was not, but appealing to Nick, it absolutely is. Upbeat instrumentals and sad lyrics have the potential to make anything a classic to me, and this one definitely gets there. Here, My Dear as an album is a fantastic, brutally honest depiction of Gaye’s point-of-view on his failed marriage. The centerpiece, “When Did You Stop Loving Me, When Did I Stop Loving You”, appears on the album three times, once in full, once as an instrumental, and finally a reprise. Two questions are posed in the song’s title, suggesting the collaborative nature of a failed relationship, yet no such duality is found in the content of the song, which tears into his ex-wife’s very being. There would be time to reflect later, but on Here, My Dear, Gaye reacts.